Chaosbutterfly

The two teenagers stood before the Kiosk with weapons in hand. They had both brought two baseball bats and stood there staring at it. It was tall, made of what looked like solid steel in a circle with a flashy bright glowing screen in the center. It had been there a week and various gangs had tried to tag it with no success. Paint didn’t adhere to its brushed steel surface. It just stood there defiantly, giving out free money to whomever wanted it. The two had been beating on it for the past hour. The police had even drove on by, one cop actually stopped watched almost disinterested as the two tried in vain to destroy the beast. The cop had driven away, chuckling to himself. Finally, they stopped to catch their breath before it. It glowed happily, mocking the teenagers as they stared at it. Finally one of them approached the monolith and walked into its circle of steel and glowing power. “NO! You won’t ever be able to have kids!” Shouted the other young man. His friend stopped short of the circle and turned, smirked at him then stepped in. The glowing screen flashed, “Welcome!” The kiosk shouted in a overly friendly almost comical tone.
Nervously, the other teenager fidgeted just outside. The kiosk went on, “Thank you for participating in our population control and subsidy project. This kiosk will irradiate the willing participant rendering him or her sterile for life. This process is painless and without any known side effects. You will be compensated $20 for your participation. Repeated exposure is harmless. If you are sure you wish to participate, please press the accept button.”
“Don’t do it Man!”
“I’m going to do it…” the teen grinned and he pushed the large red button on the touch screen. Twenty dollars slid out of a slot into a holder. The teen picked it up and shoved it into his pocket. The kiosk glowed, “Thank you for your participation in our population control and subsidy project. You may now leave the kiosk.”
“I don’t get it, there wasn’t a light or a beep or anything. Are you sure it works?”
The other teen laughed. “No.. Go ahead, get some free money and we can get some drinks.”

So there I was, reading my book on the Fundamentals of String Theory when I dosed off for a nap during lunch at work in my cubical. As I sat there peaceably snoring away, I had this dream. I dreamed about flying high above the earth, watching particles fly past me from the sun. Neutrinos, the occasional alpha partical, scads of photons, electrons, and just about every tron you could think of. All of them blissfully flying in the sky. Most of them came from the sun, but many were carrying baggage that had addresses from all sorts of far away places and galaxies I had never heard of. I went to stop one and see where he was going, but suddenly I woke up.

And then it dawned on me, I knew the secret of faster than light travel.

So, after excitedly emailing my geeky friends about my discovery, I headed home and raided my box of spare parts in the closet. I had a collection of parts of dead computers dating back into the 80′s. It was just what I needed to build my FLT drive. I took the new FLT drive and I decided it was time to test it out. So I installed it into my new 2004 Saturn ION. It took me almost until morning to finish hooking it up. Tired, and still pretty much on an adrenaline high, I got in the car, put on my seat belt and turned the ignition key. The car started up just fine. I pulled out of the driveway and in the quiet of the morning, I engaged the drive. The car floated up quietly in the parking lot and I flipped the switch to ‘forward’. The light on the dash turned to read and the Earth sped past me below. I passed effortlessly through buildings and mountains not effecting them at all. So I pushed the 1995 vintage joystick and the car moved up into the sky.

At about the distance of maybe twice that of the Moon, I stopped and gazed over the beautiful spectacle of the Earth and Moon. They floated beautifully in the velvet background of stars before me. Moments later the Sun broke out of the limb of the Earth and I was inundated with Sol’s brilliance. I put on my sunglasses and pulled down the visor. Turned the wheel and headed out of the Solar system. I pulled up my laptop and pulled up my astronomy program. There it is! Sedna, just at the bottom of Taurus’s hooves. I shifted into high gear and after a nice good hour’s drive, I came upon a strange red object before me.

It seemed to sit static in the sky, dark and foreboding. Not really all that round, but it was large. Huge as a matter of fact. As I pulled in closer, and my headlights hit it, I realized it wasn’t a planet at all but a huge derelict spaceship. The thing had it’s own gravity it was so large and slowly it loomed below me. I drove around looking for a dock somewhere. When I found something that looked dock like I pulled and and parked. The door closed behind me and air rushed in to fill the dock. I stepped out of the car and walked around. The place was deserted, but the air was fresh. Strange little piles of dust lay everywhere. There were huge halls with beautiful carved strange statues of alien life forms from where was anyone’s guess. The light glowed a dim red as I walked down the corridors. I walked into a grand hall where I found a single stairway going up. I climbed and climbed and up into the bowels of the great ship I went. After a long agonizing trip past countless levels, I finally came to the top. It opened to a beautiful dome of glass and a bridge. The bridge had comfortable chairs and computer consoles all dark and lifeless. I walked up to what looked like the center chair and brushed off the little pile of dust and sat down. I rested my hands on the arm rests and the room burst into light. Computers buzzed and blinked, and the dome suddenly brightened with heads up displays. A single main screen opened and after some activity it stopped and the words, in English no doubt, popped up, “Enter destination”….